These are the two lines hosts rewrite the most, usually because they are trying to soften a decision they have not fully made. Decide the rule first. The wording gets easy after that.
Decide the rule, then apply it consistently
The offence rarely comes from the rule itself. It comes from the rule appearing to be applied unevenly. If one cousin's children are there and another's are not, that is what gets remembered.
Pick one and hold it: children welcome, no children, or children of immediate family only. The third is defensible but you must be able to state it plainly, because people will ask.
Who traditionally gets a plus one
The conventional list:
- Anyone married, engaged or living with a partner
- Members of the wedding party
- Immediate family
- Guests who will not know anyone else there
Beyond that, a plus one is a courtesy rather than an obligation. The practical test is whether someone would spend the evening alone without one.
Wording for no plus ones
Most of the work happens in how you address the invitation, not in a line of text. An invitation addressed to a named person, without "and guest" or "and family", already says it.
If you need to be explicit, put it in the event details rather than on the invitation face:
We are keeping the guest list small, so we have reserved seats for named guests only. Thank you for understanding.
Or, more warmly:
Space is tight, so this one is just for you. We cannot wait to see you.
Avoid over explaining. A long justification invites negotiation.
Wording for adults only
One plain line, framed around what guests get rather than what they lose:
Adults only, so parents get a night off.
We love your children, and we are keeping this one adults only.
To let everyone relax, we are asking that only adults attend the reception.
If you are inviting some children, say so precisely:
Children of immediate family only.
That is clearer than "children by invitation only", which leaves parents guessing whether they qualify.
Where to put it
Not in the headline. The invitation should be about the event.
Put it in the details section, in the RSVP step, or on the linked event page. On a digital invitation the details area is exactly right, because it is where guests already look for dress code and parking.
If your event has a website or an FAQ, repeat it there. Guests who miss it on the invitation will look there next.
Give people time
If you are asking parents to arrange childcare, tell them early. An adults only note that arrives with the invitation four weeks out is workable. The same note arriving a week before is a problem, and you will lose guests who would otherwise have come.
For weddings, put it on the save the date so it is known months ahead.
If a guest pushes back, and occasionally one will, hold the rule and offer something else. "We cannot stretch the numbers, but we would love to see you both at the barbecue the next day" keeps the relationship intact without reopening the decision. Making an exception once means making it for everyone who hears about it.
Making it hard to miss
The practical difficulty is that guests skim. On Easy Evite the details you add appear on the invitation itself when the guest opens it, and replies come back with adults and children counted separately, so if someone has misunderstood you find out at the RSVP rather than at the door. That is a much easier conversation to have in advance.
Browse wedding, adult birthday and cocktail party designs free.